You load things up (which takes about three minutes, during which time you realise the folly of what you're attempting), and then you start the game and everything looks ... fine. Fine and dandy. You move around a bit and everything is still sweet. The videocard is pushing all the pixels, the soundcard is piping out game muzak, the CPU is handling AI and geometry.

Surely you can get by without a little extra RAM? Videocards have RAM. Soundcards have RAM. That’s plenty of RAM ... right? Right?

Okay? Who the heck am I kidding? Certainly not the memory requirements of any of click-tease games that look good for a couple of frames before showing their real colours.

Strangely, the need for RAM isn't some conspiracy perpetrated by my a cartel of shadowy chip makers. You need the stuff. Want to load a new zone? Want to do it in less than three minutes? Hello RAM. Want to be able to climb onto a roof and look around? Want to play a game without load screens which streams the data?

So, I promised myself I'd just surf the 'net, catch up on some writing, send some e-mails and maybe get some sun ... but the siren song of 512MB of crappy RAM!

My mind kept conjuring those ten second runs where the games looked good. It kept editing out the load times, and it keep telling me that it was the City of Heroes double experience weekend. So I'd load a game with a grim and misguided hope, play it for as long as I could bear, then turn it off in disgust. Then I'd do something else as my disgust faded and my hope slowly returned. Maybe if I just clear one zone at a time? Maybe if I turn off my power effects? Perhaps World of WarCraft wouldn't use as much system memory...

I know it’s ridiculous, but I just know that by the time I finish watching The Adventures of Ford Fairlane I’m going to be ready to give Titan Quest another go.