Hotware: Bone-conducting smartrings, kid-sized landspeeders, and a... speakerhat?

Go home, Terrance - you're drunk.

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Hotware: Bone-conducting smartrings, kid-sized landspeeders, and a... speakerhat?

ORII

$170 • Origami Labs
www.kickstarter.com/projects/187732114/orii-your-voice-powered-smart-ring

All the cool kids are doing bone conduction (insert obligatory childish “that’s what she said” here) these days. And here’s a ring inspired in part by the visually impaired that uses bone conduction and voice control to take over many of the tasks of a smart phone.

POWERED UP: Ready to handle all your Google Assistant and Siri queries. Designed to be durable and splash proof to get through the average day.

PLAYED OUT: This thing is CHUNKY.  And you’re really going to want to practice that finger-in-ear look in the mirror because it’ll be pretty easy to look like a doofus. Also, remember to clean your ears, because that’s not what people mean when they say “wax lyrical”. 

Speakerhat

$TBA • Atari 
www.atari.com

If you’ve ever been playing music out of your phone for everyone on your crowded train carriage to hear and thought to yourself “Is it humanly possible to be more annoying than I am right now?” then Atari has the product for you. The Speakerhat.

POWERED UP: A Bluetooth speaker in a cap. Joy!

PLAYED OUT: Speakerhat? How many meetings did that name take? Come on Atari, put some effort in. Headbanger.  Tune-gallon. Chapeaudio. Stetsonic. A-Cap-ella. WE’RE NOT EVEN TRYING, ATARI.

Retro Classic Keyboard

$170 • Azio 
www.indiegogo.com/projects/azio-industry-first-luxury-vintage-keyboard

We game, so we understand the value of a good keyboard. But while we might buy technically impressive gear, we don’t often consider its looks beyond how cool it is. These keyboards combine the best of past and modern design sensibilities – in three different colour designs, no less!

POWERED UP: Zinc alloy frame, leather surface, height-adjustable pillar feet, and full backlight illumination. There are mechanical keys, and USB or Bluetooth connection options. Not a bad price considering gaming equivalents.

PLAYED OUT: Some macro keys would be nice? No mention of anti-ghosting. 

Depict

$1300 • Depict 
depict.com 

Digital photo frames are one of those things that never really caught on. Maybe it’s time that changed.

POWERED UP: A 49 inch 4k “digital canvas” with wooden frame. Depict gives you complimentary and premium (paid) collections from which you can choose to configure your display. Changes easily made over Wi-Fi via the mobile app. Handily swivels between portrait and landscape.

PLAYED OUT: You’ll need to hide the power cable. App is iOS only, probably because Android users hate all art.

Landspeeder

$700 • Toys R Us 
www.toysrus.com

There’s a thing people say about parents living vicariously through their children being a bad thing, and well would you look at that, we’re terrible parents now.

POWERED UP: Seating for two in this rechargeable 12 volt child-sized replica of Luke’s X-34 Landspeeder made by Radio Flyer. It’ll do 8km/h and 3km/h in reverse.

PLAYED OUT: It’s maybe TOO CUTE or something? And it probably sucks that it only supports around 60kg passenger weight. And like, why isn’t there an adult sized one? Hopefully the kids don’t arrive home to find charred skeletons.

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